X- Rated Cursing and a Bedtime Story for the Sleep Deprived Parents. What is Acceptable?

 








 I submit this post in honor of a (belated) Fathers' Day and "X" week at ABC Wednesday. I hope I don't offend anyone as I offer this bedtime story by Adam Mansbach, read by Samuel Jackson. It was forwarded to me by my sleep-deprived cousins as they learn to juggle life with their second child and I now share it with you:

THIS IS NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK.  IF you are having trouble with bedtime and getting your kids to sleep, please see my blog post: http://departingthetext.blogspot.com/2011/04/getting-them-to-sleep-bedtime-rituals.html




So, with a smirk on your face and the kids asleep.... let's talk X-rated mouths:  What is your take on cursing?

I was raised by conservative parents who would not stand for cursing.  (They threatened to wash my mouth out with soap if I cursed.  I was a good girl - for the most part). As a result, I tend not to curse but I must confess, there are times when a good well placed curse (with emphasis)  makes all the difference in the world! [Just ask my husband!]

What is your take on cursing?  Is it alright to curse in front of your child?  To your child?

An educator's perspective on cursing in front of kids: Don't do it (at least not regularly or intentionally - we all have our moments).  There are so many truly colorful onomatopoeic expletives that can be used in lieu of cursing that present wonderful intellectual and verbal challenges to the creative communicator.  I also think that aside from the well-deserved curse, using crass curse words too frequently cheapens our language.  That said, I do love the delicately placed colorful curses as they add depth and diversity to conversations (and often just feel good releasing).

Here are some alternative expletives:

• persnickety
• shoot
• nuts 
• whoopsadaisy
• fiddlesticks
• freaking
• sugar
• knucklehead
• halfwit
• dimwit
• numbskull
• lewd
• warped
• cavernous
• tedious

In my opinion, however, Shakespeare was the master insult / curse-writer.  Below are two clips from Much Ado About Nothing which illustrate his craft at cursing.  Explore these clips (or the entire film/play) and the list of selected insults and curses below on your own or with your kids, and please add your favorites in the comments:

• I would my horse had the speed of your tongue! (Much Ado About Nothing)
  
• Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous. (As You Like It)
• Thou art a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward. (Measure for Measure)
• A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality. (All's Well That Ends Well)
• Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of the Nile (Cymbeline)
• You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian!  I'll tickle your catastrophe! (Henry IV Part 2)
• Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver'd boy (Macbeth)
• Thine face is not worth sunburning. (Henry V)
• A foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.  What a piece of work is man! (Hamlet)
• My two schoolfellows.  Whom I shall trust as I will adders fangs. (Hamlet)
• Scurvy, old, filth, scurry lord (All's Well That Ends Well)
• You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave. (All's Well That Ends Well)
•  I desire that we be better strangers. (As You Like It)
• Beg that thou may have leave to hang theyself. (Merchant of Venice)
• Four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one. (Much Ado About Nothing)
• This is a subtle whore, a closet lock and key of villainous secrets. (Othello)
• Hang cur, hang, you whoreson, insolent noisemaker. (The Tempest)
• Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood. (King Lear)
• It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing (Macbeth)
• milksops
• braggarts
• artless
• bawdy
• base-court
• beetle-headed
• beef-witted
• boil-brained
• clay-brained
• barnacle
• beslubbering
• clapper-clawed
• canker-blossom
• craven
• curish
• errant
• dankish
• fobbing
• frothy
• earth-vexing
• fen-sucked
• folly-fallen
• haggard
• haughty 
• lewd minx
• loggerheaded
• lout
• maggot-pie
• mewling
• paunchy
• ill-breeding
• malt-worm
• mammet
• puny
• puking
• minnow
• rutish
• roguish
• reeky
• rank
• pernicious
• plume-plucked
• pox-marked
• surly
• ratsbane
• swag-bellied
• scut
• strumpet
• timorous wretch
• vassal
• villainous
• wart-necked
• urchin-snouted
• whey-faced
• yeasty

This list is a mere sampling.  Explore the remainders on your own or with your child, friend, or nemesis. In the meantime, here is one more clip.



Please leave comments on how you handle cursing, cursing with kids, and cursing alternatives.   PLEASE  leave some of your favorite gems!

Getting them to Sleep ... Bedtime Rituals

We all know it's important to get our kids to sleep.  It's important for their health and day-time functioning, and it's important for us to get our own grown-up quality time. 


The best way to get them to sleep (aside from tiring them out, drugging them or knocking them unconscious - the latter two being highly frowned upon) - is to establish a bedtime ritual.  Here are some suggestions on how to do that:

1. Establish a bed time.  If you have more than one child, you may want to set up the same bedtime for all of them, you may want to allow the older kids a bit more time (for homework and winding down).  I will end this here for now, but if you find you want more suggestions and guidelines on how to establish realistic bedtimes, please let me know.
2. Wind-down alert.  Let your kids know that in 30 minutes they will need to start getting ready for bed. This will help them wind down what they are doing, getting their school and night-time things in order.
3. Getting ready for bed. This may mean putting toys and things away, setting out clothes and school things for tomorrow, bathing, getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, and choosing a good-night story.
4. Bedtime stories. 
• Bedtime stories, in my opinion should be read aloud (or told) by others.  This allows them to hear a soothing voice and tune out other tensions/noises (without stressing about sounding out words).
• Bedtime stories should be calm and soothing.
• Bedtime stories can be old stories or new stories, chapter books, poems, or they can be favorite family stories retold.
• Kids should be in bed (or at least on bed) and ready to go to sleep when the story is told/read.  
5. Final tuck-in with kiss (bedtime prayer and/or lullabies suggested) and lights out. This final step is really important.  It is nurturing, comforting and reassuring and it signals that it is now time to sleep. 

The value of the bedtime story:  This is important on so many levels.
Emotionally:  It is nurturing which helps them calm down and helps build relationships.  It is also a nice ending to a possibly stressful day and chores.
Language:  Listening to stories helps incorporate sounds and rhythm of language (important when learning to read).  They are exposed to diverse vocabulary, to different format and genres of print, and they hear rhymes and language patterns.
Cognition:  Listening to stories helps kids learn about other worlds, relationships, cause and effect, and sequences.  They are exposed to different places and different times.  They can brainstorm and predict what will happen or figure out why something did happen.

A note on re-reading and re-telling stories:  Young kids especially love hearing stories over and over again.  This is a good thing.  They incorporate the language and the content of the story.  They like hearing and rehearing it because they know what's going to happen.  It is comforting and reassuring.  Rereading certain books bored me to tears, but they loved it and at times, I'd have my kids help me "read" the story (even before they could read).

[Please see previous posts on reading aloud and departing the text for more on this.]

Some of my family's favorite bedtime stories:

• Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne
• Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
• Goodnight Opus by Berkeley Breathed
• Barn Dance by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault
• A Wish for Wings that Worked by Berkeley Breathed
• Brian Jacque's Redwall Series
• Dealing With Dragons Series by Patricia Wrede
• Lloyd Alexander's Book of Three and Chronicles of Prydain
• My Father's Dragon series by Ruth Stiles Gannett
• Many Moons by James Thurber
• Abiyoyo by Pete Seger
• Thundercake by Patricia Polacco
• The Napping House by Audrey Wood
• The Happy Hocky Family by Lane Smith
• Tacky the Penguin by Helen Lester
• Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss
• There's A Nightmare In My Closet by Mercer Mayer
• Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

What are or were your favorite bedtime stories?  How do you set up bedtime rituals?