Why is it that (except in athletics or the arts) teens work so hard to be 'average' and fit in, and we as parents want them to stand out or at the very least, excel?
What is 'average' anyway? When I 'googled' "average" this is what I got:
av·er·age/ˈav(ə)rij/
Noun:
The result obtained by adding several quantities together and then dividing this total by the number of quantities; the mean.
Adjective:
Constituting the result obtained by adding together several quantities and then dividing this total by the number of quantities.
Verb:
Amount to or achieve as an average rate or amount over a period of time: "annual inflation averaged 2.4 percent".
Synonyms:
noun. mean - medium - mediocrity
I personally don't like the term, "average student" and based on Google's synonyms ("mediocrity") I may not be wrong. Being "average" seems to limit a teacher's, student's, and parent's vision and expectations. Every student has strengths and weaknesses that together create who he or she is. They may 'average' out to be a kid who functions somewhere in the middle of his or her peers on various tests and measures of achievement, but to say they are 'average' defeats their accomplishments and potential. Furthermore, I think every kid needs to see him or herself excelling, creating, and contributing in whatever unique way works best for them.
Howard Gardner addresses this in his Multiple Intelligences (MI) Theory. Gardner identifies nine different kinds of intelligence, each reflecting different ways of interacting with the world. Each person has their own individual combination of these intelligences. His nine intelligences are:
Linguistic Intelligence - the capacity to understand, use, and manipulate language
Logical Mathematical Intelligence- the capacity to understand, manipulate and express numbers, quantities, and numerical operations
Musical Rhythmic Intelligence - the capacity to think in music, and to hear, recognize and manipulate music.
Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence - the capacity to use your body or body parts (hands, fingers, feet, etc.) to solve problems, to interact, and to express oneself (athletics, dance, performing arts are the most common examples of excellence in this)
Spatial Intelligence - the capcity to represent the spatial world internally - to learn and integrate visual stimuli. Spatial learners, for example, learn best by observing images, photos, graphs, charts (as opposed to listening to lectures or reading long passages).
Naturalist Intelligence - refers to the capacity to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) and recognize patterns and features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).
Intrapersonal Intelligence - the capacity to understand yourself- who you are, how and why you react to various things the way you do, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, how to avoid pitfalls, etc.
Interpersonal Intelligence - the capacity to understand other peoples' speech, body/facial language, postures, motivations, etc.
Existential Intelligence - the capacity and proclivity to contemplate philosophical questions of life, death, reality, etc.
Schools Attuned and All Kinds of Minds train parents and teachers to look at students along eight different "neurodevelopmental constructs." Much like Howard Gardner's multiple intelligences, we all have our own unique combination of skills which embody our own unique learning profiles. These profiles vary along eight different areas:
Attention
Memory
Langauge
Social cognition- understanding how dress, posture, tone, facial expressions, and verbal/nonverbal communication all help us better understand people and social situations around us
Temporal and Spatial sequential processing - understanding time, recognizing how long things take, recognizing and being able to follow schedules and sequences (be this following directions, following time, or telling jokes or stories);
Graphomotor skills - handwriting skills
Fine and Gross motor skills - coordinating large and small muscle groups (for example, throwing a catching a ball involves large muscle groups while knitting involves smaller muscle groups)
Higher order cognition - understanding abstract concepts, brainstorming, creating, analyzing, evaluating, comparing all involve higher order cognition. It also involves 'metacognition' much like Gardner's Intrapersonal Intelligence - an ability to understand oneself - one's actions, thoughts and motivations.
Using either one of these approaches - be it recognizing and teaching to multiple intelligences or to recognizing your students learning profiles along various neurodevelopmental constructs has multiple benefits:
It validates each of your students, allowing them to excel in their areas of strength while strengthening areas of weakness
It helps teachers and students better understand each other, gaining greater self esteem and an ability and desire to take risks and reach for higher goals and expectations
It enables students to advocate more effectively for themselves. Once one has a better understanding of learning strengths and weaknesses, one can seek more specific help in areas of weakness
It helps parents, teachers, and students to more realistically evaluate and approach school (and life) related problems.
I would like to think that each and every one of us has special gifts and skills that should be promoted. Maybe "average" should be used to help describe performance, but not kids. What do you think?
This past Friday, January 6, 2012 the New York Times ran a front page article "Big Study Links Good Teachers to Lasting Gain" in which Annie Lowrey reported findings of a recent study by Chetty, Friedman (Harvard) and Rockoff (Columbia). As I approached the paper and saw the article, I thought sarcastically to myself, "...and this is new?" But, the first zinger for me was that the this study was not conducted by educators - it was conducted by economists, and I took a closer look.
These economists examined 2.5 million children (the largest pool of students ever studied) from a large urban school district from 3rd -8th grade and then to adulthood (the longest period one particular subject pool has been studied) looking at a teacher's "value added" score and its impact upon these students over time. This score was defined as the average test-score gain (in reading and math) for their students, statistically "adjusted for differences across classrooms in student characteristics." These data covered the 2.5 million students and 18 million math and reading tests spanning 1989-2009.
Here are some of the ZINGERS as reported in the study:
When a high value added teacher joins a school, test scores rise immediately in the grade/subject taught by that teacher (and only in what is taught by that teacher), and falls if/when that teacher leaves.
On average, having a high value-added teacher for one years raises a child's total lifetime income by $9,000.
All else equal, a student with one excellent teacher for one year between fourth and eighth grade would gain $4,600 in lifetime income, compared to a student of similar demographics who has an average teacher.
The student with the excellent teacher would also be 0.5 percent more likely to attend college.
Replacing a poor teacher (whose value added score is in the bottom 5%) with a teacher of average quality would generate lifetime earnings gains worth over $250,00 for the average classroom.
Controlling for numerous factors including students' backgrounds, the researchers found that the value-added scores consistently identified some teachers as better than others, even if individual teachers' value-added scores varied from year to year.
Students with top teachers are less likely to become pregnant as teenagers, are more likely to enroll in college, and are more likely to earn more money as adults.
In short, this study details lifelong impacts that variations or differences between really good and really bad teachers have on children. And, while we can all point to pivotal teachers who opened our minds and various life-line doors - the fact that this is now backed by economists and with future income studies... is enormous - as are the ramifications for defining, evaluating and using value-added teacher data.
With all this in mind, I would like to thank the following teachers for having had such an impact on me and or on my kids. [Please leave your own acknowledgements in the comments.]
My very special thanks to:
Mr. Benami - my high school science teacher who saw through the quiet girl in class, encouraging me to think, grow, and participate. He set high but realistic goals for me to reach and as a result I have always loved science.
Mrs. Gross and Mrs. Pfiefer - my middle school social studies and science teachers who also saw and encouraged my potential WAY before I did.
Mr. Sandomir -for understanding my son, validating his feelings, comments and intellect, and for challenging him to write poems and prose that still touch our hearts. Mr. Sandomir, when teaching Phillip Pulman's His Dark Materials books told his 6th grade class that they were based on Milton's Paradise Lost. My son was so taken, he read Paradise Lost (NOT your average 6th grader independent reading) and still talks about it.
Mrs. Teig - THE BEST math ... ever. She was tough, demanding and relatively unflexible in her demands. A bit like Mary Poppins, she would bake and bring wonderful candies and patries to school and nurture each of her students reinforcing their accomplishments and risk-taking while restructuring their mistakes and steps backward. ALL her students felt her love. Her 5-8 grade math classes put my daughters at the top of their high school math classes to the point that their school had to set up special accelerated math groups for them. One daughter is now a middle school teacher, the other, having majored in math and physics in college is a materials engineer.
And, for all those aspiring to be these 'value-added teachers', here's some sound advice:
Thanks again to you all - please don't forget to tell us about your value-added teachers in the comments!
In Moby Dick, Ishmael explains that, "A whale-ship was my Yale College and my Harvard." Nick Carraway in F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby boasts his Yale roots and in Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, the protagonist's boyfriend Buddy Willard is described as being a Yale man.
Yale alums of television and film include: Rory Gilmore (The Gilmore Girls), Simon Stiles (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip), Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons), and Niles (Frasier), Walter (Tom Hanks) and from The Money Pit, Kat (Mystic Pizza).
What is it about the 'brand' colleges that so compel and attract us? Is it the education?
My husband and I are both products of Ivy League colleges. Our kids are not (though they had the option), and I am NOT convinced that these institutions are the 'ultimate' college destinations - nor are they necessarily THE top educational institutions. In my experience, the 'college experience' is all about what is taken out of available opportunities: classes, information, work opportunities, arts and leisure, exploration of self, and yes... the social connections... all of this.
In deciding what colleges your child might attend, there are two 'first' questions you need to ask:
What does "college education" mean?
What are your personal expectations of the college experience?
What does "college education" mean?
The Free Dictionary defines college as "an institution of higher learning offering courses and granting degrees in a particular field"
The Radom House Dictionary of the English Language (Second Edition) and Dictinary.comdefine college as "an institution of higher learning, especially one providing a general or liberal arts education rather than technical or professional training"
On the lighter side, one visitor to Urban Dictionary.com defines college as, "the place where you enter inexorbitant (their spelling) amounts of debt to 'learn' things you never apply once to your actual occupation..."
While these are all reflect levels of 'truth' and accuracy, I don't find them particularly helpful. So, I have come up with my own definition (and would love to hear yours in the comments):
A college education is one which provides opportunities for personal, educational, and social growth. These opportunities are in part provided via college courses, required readings and through various resource centers on campus, but mostly come from opportunities (jobs, internships, personal interactions with professors and mentors, school and professional clubs) sought after and actively participated in by students.
The questions one needs to ask though are: Is college necessary for these experiences, and if so, what type of college. For many (see my post on the Uncollege) college may not be necessary as the skills and connections they need for the career paths they've chosen are actually better served out of college. For others who are aware of themselves and their paths and prefer more attention and smaller classes of students, a small college may be best as they have many more opportunities to connect with professors who can provide research opportunities that in larger universities are given to graduate students. Larger colleges also have pros in that there are often more social opportunities and greater varieties of classes offered.
Do the 'brand' colleges offer more exclusive opportunities? For some students, maybe, but for most the answer is definitively, "no."
For many who aspire to Yale, there is WAY TOO MUCH pressure to get into these 'brand' schools while there are truly exceptional opportunities for all kids outside of these institutions. Furthermore, there really is "that Yale thing..."
In my opinion, what you get out of college depends to a large part on your goals and expectations, and the maturity the student has for meeting and sustaining them. And, each of these aspects are highly personal.
Once, however, you answer all these questions, talk to your child about various options, check them out online, discuss them with a guidance counselor, talk to alum you may know, and visit the schools. Each school, be it a 'brand' school, a college, university, or tech school, has its distinct culture. See if you and your child are comfortable with it. And, when you need a break and a laugh, The Onion has some excellent advice for "Choosing A College" (although be warned, this is The Onion and it's content is for 'mature' audiences).
Here are just a few of The Onion's suggestions, although it is worth clicking on the link above:
"You can never go wrong choosing a college you saw advertised on public transportation"
"Schools that boast about their outstanding academic reputation are probably insecure about their inadequacies in other areas"
"Be wary of colleges where the chair of the history department keeps using the phrase 'olden times'"
"If you are having a hard time deciding between Princeton and Yale, cry me a ******* river, Fauntleroy"
If college decisions are looming in your home, I wish you much luck and as little angst as is humanly possible and know that it usually works out in the end...
... And to all of my readers, I wish you all a wonderfully happy, healthy, and successful 2012. May this be a year of record-breaking peace and prosperity for all.
Typically we think of the classroom experience as the teacher relaying information to students, and, for better and for worse, that is often the case. And, while teachers must relay new information, in my experience the best learning comes from exchanges: exchanges between student and teacher, between student and student, and between student and given materials. These exchanges can and should occur in the classroom, at home, and in the world around us, and are particularly effective when they challenge or extend existing expectations.
The essentials for successful exchanges:
listening - listening for opportunities to take learning further, listening for questions regarding levels of understanding, listening for comments of challenge [challenging existing levels of understanding is often a very good thing], listening for nuances;
motivating
encouraging self-confidence in the ability challenge existing states of knowledge and understanding
encouraging risk takingin your child's thinking and problems solving
promoting respectful dialogue :
Pose open-ended questions
Allow your child to respond to your questions, pausing before responding yourself or, if you're a teacher, before calling on a student. This allows them to process the question and retrieve and formulate meaningful responses.
Encourage different perspectives to questions and comments, accepting divergent opinions (without having to necessarily agree with them). When you hear divergent opinions, try to help direct, guide, and facilitate discussions.
Let me share some examples of positive (and negative) exchanges:
This Looney Toon is all about listening, risk taking, and encouraging Bugs (and Daffy) to think out of the box - something Bugs does regularly but Daffy does not....
There is a wonderful exchange in the book Frindleby Andrew Clements. It is the beginning of fifth grade for Nick Allen, who is convinced that he can distract his Language Arts teacher (a fanatic about dictionaries and dictionary usage) from assigning homework. So, just as she is about to relay that night's assignment, Nick raises his hand and asks her, "What makes a word a word?" The problem (initially at least) for Nick is that sahe throws the question right back at him, saying that is a wonderful question and in addition to the class assignment, he must 'research' his question further. He does the research and realizes exactly what makes aword a word, and proceeds to coin his own. He learns ALOT more about words and language than he ever expected from this simple exchange, from listening to various literary sources, and from challenging existing expectations.
Another exchange happened to me in the airport. I was waiting at the gate for my flight (which was delayed) and just watching the people around me. There was a little boy "Daniel" who must have been about five years old, who had gone through his mom's stash of chips, her box of apple juice, and her patience as well. The planes out the window were no longer a novelty and he and his mom were 'losing it.' And, there was still the flight to take. At some point the mom looked at me and I suggested a game to play, "I SPY." She had never heard of it and so I explained the game: One person privately selects an object within sight and generally describes it, "I spy with my little eye, something ...red (or big, or smelly or any other adjective you care to give it)" and the other person has to guess what it is you spy by asking questions or just by guessing. When the item is guessed, the players switch roles.
The problem, once I explained the game was that mom kept picking small items or items Daniel could not see well. Through their exchanges, though, she learned adjust her selections so Daniel could easily guess them. The other problem, was when it was Daniel's turn to spy an object. He, being a five year old, and very excited about the game would say, "I spy with my little eye something blue" and then immediately share what that object was with his mom -without her having the opportunity to play or guess.
What was so special about this exchange was that aside from distracting and entertaining Daniel, both mother and child learned how to adjust their choices and responses to the game. Furthermore, Mom was happy Daniel was occupied, Daniel was thrilled with his new game, he was learning and practicing adjectives and vocabulary, and what was about to turn into a shouting match, turned into a productive exchange between parent and child.
I observed another exchange between mother and child that did not work out well when riding on a train. It was a summer Sunday afternoon and mother and son were returning from a day at the beach. They were tired, the train was crowded, and mom had to navigate one large suitcase, a large overstuffed tote bag, and a cranky child. She propped the suitcases against the window (a mistake) and sat her son between her and the suitcases. He cried and fussed and she would not allow him to climb over (or simply move) the suitcase to look out the window, or allow him to walk up and down the aisle, or even read a book to him. Instead she screamed at him to "shut up" and if others tried to help with advice she shouted "he's a two year old, they scream and cry - that's what they do...." This woman had one expectation - her two year old cried and screamed - and she did not care or try to adjust that expectation. She also did not care to exchange, motivate, or distract her child - she just let him scream.
With 2012 approaching, let's raise our expectations, renew and enhance exchanges and become better listeners and motivators!
In this 2011 holiday season, I know we all have our wish lists, our kids' wish lists, our friends' and spouse wish lists to consider and attempt to meet.
I actually think meeting and granting wishes (in moderation) is one of the perks of parenthood and this holiday season, but will be a challenge for many of us, given the economic situation we find ourselves in today. That is why it is so important to help our kids learn to distinguish between realistic wishes that can be met and those that involve reaching, aspiring, and hoping (knowing in reality they may not be met - at least not immediately).
To help kids learn to make (smaller) realistic wishes and (larger) hopeful wishes - talk to them about wishes, wish making, and expectations. Read books about how how different characters make wishes and deal with making those wishes come true. Talk to them about the characters and books where the wishes do not come true and how those characters deal with the frustration, disappointment, and realities they face.
Here are some of my favorite books about wishes:
A Wish for Wings That Work: An Opus Christmas Story by Berkely Breathed
Many Moons by James Thurber - about a princess who wants the moon, and how the king's jester finds a solution, where his advisors and wise men could not.
Ruby's Wish by Shirin Yim
Ava Tree and Wishes Three by Jeanne Betancourt
Dealing with Dragons - the first in a series of chapter books by Patricia Wrede - about a princess who wishes she could learn math, science, and magic instead of etiquette and manners.
Robot Dreams and Bake Sale both written and illustrated by Sara Varon are both wonderful books about wishes, dreams, and how hard it is sometimes to make them come true. In Robot Dreams, the dreams come don't come true the way they were initially intended; and in Bake Sale, the wishes do come true after hard work and sacrifice. Both are graphic novels geared for young and old kids alike.
When Wishes Come True by Per-Henrik Gurth. This is a story about a polar bear who is sad because his wishes never seem to come true, and how his mother shows him how some of them do come true (like getting his favorite meal or wishing for snow to fall). This is a great book that shows kids the difference between big and small wishes.
Here is a read-aloud YouTube clip for When Wishes Come True:
Here are some questions you can discuss with them after, or when reading the books:
What wishes do they think can be met and what may not be met?
What might characters do to help make their wishes come true?
How does it feel when wishes don't come true?
How do different people/ characters deal with the frustration when their wishes aren't met?
Talk about how we can help make certain wishes come true (in their lives and in others')
What are different ways people make wishes and why (i.e., wish bones, fountains, praying)
Sometimes providing perspective will help when kids are frustrated or sad. Here are links and charity suggestions that may help them feel better about themselves while helping other, less fortunate kids have their wishes met. The charities below take monetary and/or 'gently used' donations:
[PLEASE feel free to add some of your favorite charities (not listed) in your comments.]
Wishes are SO important they set goals, raise expectations, and help us cope with life around us. How do you help your kids make and deal with wishes? Please let me know in the comments.
Here is a lovely video clip of third graders responding to a unit around the book, Ava Tree and the Wishes Three by Jeanne Betancourt, and "what kids wish for":
In closing, I would like to wish all of my cyber friends and followers a very joyous holiday season, with wishes for a happy, healthy, successful 2012.
2011 was a good year for me professionally - with my book contract and so many new and wonderful friends and followers. I thank you all for your warm, insightful, friendly comments.
May 2012 be a year of peace, prosperity and wonderful family time for us all!!
I just couldn't pick one version - I love them both.
I personally don't like the term, "average student" and based on Google's synonyms ("mediocrity") I may not be wrong. Being "average" seems to limit a teacher's, student's, and parent's vision and expectations. Every student has strengths and weaknesses that together create who he or she is. They may 'average' out to be a kid who functions somewhere in the middle of his or her peers on various tests and measures of achievement, but to say they are 'average' defeats their accomplishments and potential. Furthermore, I think every kid needs to see him or herself excelling, creating, and contributing in whatever unique way works best for them.
